Things you come across late at night...

Strangely, while reviewing my CV for the umpteenth time for my job interview tomorrow evening, I had to think of my director during theatre/drama class in high school in Lucerne. That was back in 1998/1999. I once heard he was quite a figure in the Swiss theatre scene, so I googled him. And wouldntcha know, here's what I got. Pretty groovy. Sometimes I wonder if he remembers me, after all, I did have a leading role under his direction. Ah, gotta go to bed and stop dreaming ...

One year ago...

...I embarked on a plane (with Alitalia, may I mention. They weren't on strike! We landed! The food was actually good! Gotta give them at least a little credit) to Cairo, Egypt, to spend a wonderful two months living in a beautiful country, becoming more familiar with a different culture, meeting great people and working for AIESEC. I wish I could visit my friends down there again sometime soon. Insha'allah :-) Waheshni wallahi yaani. (I hope I got that right).



I was thinking for quite some time what Egyptian artist to post here. Of course I first came up with Amr Diab (to quote Hadia: "He's like the Ricky Martin of Egypt....", haha). But I don't remember listening to his songs until I got back from Egypt, so I decided to post, well, guess dear ex-CC members: Tararam !!! Hahahaha (the "official" CC team song. But nobody really knew that, LOL)

Ah, and one of my favorite moments: Bitching about (insert two capital letters...the @ers will know what I'm talking about, LOL) :-)

We aged well

In the middle, two of us in Spring 1998 (we count the anniversary from the beginning of our year abroad, which was in 1997. This was already towards the end) ...

And here all of us again, in Summer 2007 :-D

Like good wine, we aged well, don't you think? Yes yes, maybe with some additional kilos, haha, wonder what we'll look like in another ten years from now...we're already planning our 20-year reunion! All this somehow reminds me of the quote I use all the time:

"Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, sometimes wine improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place."
(Abigail Van Buren)

And I think it's fair enough to say that we were good grapes, hehe. Who would have thought, after all these years we're still in touch. We have managed to see each other once a year or once every two years since 1997/1998, the year we all spent a high school year in the USA. First, we spent ten days at a so-called "cultural preparation camp" at Ramapo College in New Jersey. We flew over the Atlantic Ocean in the same airplane, all either sixteen or seventeen years old, about to begin a very shaping journey away from home. Remember, that back then we had no cell phones, hardly any internet yet (my hostfamily didn't have a computer, for instance, and my family back home didn't have internet yet), so there was no "cheating": I called home maybe once a month, sometimes a bit more, and wrote letters. Lots of snail mail, being on your own, and I wouldn't have wanted it to be any different. Okay okay, I know this may sound like coming from the memoirs of a seventy-five year old, haha. However, even though ten years isn't that long a time period, things were quite different back then compared to now.

So here's a toast to us, to the REAL Fantastic Four, hehe, to friendship that will hopefully last a lifetime !!! Love and miss you all, I really do :-D

Updates

These past few days (it feels more like weeks actually) were all about introspection and catching up with friends. Introspection because I met again with my mentor (we had delicious dinner in a great restaurant in Geneva called "Lawrence d'Arabie". The setting of the place, Arabian Nights style, was so right for a person like me: candles, big pillows, nice oriental music, loads of nice colors and patterns, great smell in the air...) and it was so great!! I have a rather concrete action plan for the next two weeks. What exactly I won't tell you yet. Let me just say that now, it's all about being assertive, going for what I want, showing what I can do, trusting the process, envisioning my next steps. Oh, and using my network of contacts.

Catching up with friends because:

- Mi Sarita surprised me with a phone call on Friday at midnight, from Zurich airport, on the way to Olten! :-D Gracias!

- My dear friend Wiebke from Schleswig-Holstein (Germany) came to visit me for a few days! Mi bibkosita ;-) We were hostsisters in Costa Rica in Summer 2004. We checked out the Fêtes de Genève (rather, the Village Tropical. Got hit on by very strange guys, eow), she checked out Geneva while I was working, we went to Zurich to check out the after-math of the Streetparade (Bibko's summary of the weekend was: Men in Switzerland aren't handsome...haha), and we drove to Lausanne by train, checked out the city a bit, then took a steamboat from Lausanne to Vevey, and then the train back to Geneva. Lovely weather, a great friend, great catching-up, couldn't have been better! Ya me faltas!

- This past weekend, I went to St. Gallen (St. Gallen Fest) together with Murielle, Mathias and Röbi. Why? To celebrate the 10-year-anniversary of our Exchange Year in the USA!!! 1997/1998 baby! I can't believe it's been that long already, but it's a blessing that we're still such great friends and kept in touch over all these years! We're already planning our 20-year-anniversary, haha. Of course we had to eat American Food, i.e. huge Burgers with fries, onion rings and nachos as entrée, and cheesecakes and waffles with berries and ice-cream for dessert. Wowawewa, right? Plus some beer :-) The topic was "heavens no vitamins please!", you know, an hommage to the US, hehe. We were positively surprised by St. Gallen, they actually do have some pretty cool cafés and places there, who would have thought! And it didn't rain! Now that's a first, haha. And to top that all off, we had real American style pancakes for breakfast, along with bacon, scrambled eggs, butter, maple sirup....hahaha, my stomache hurts even remembering all that food! We made an exception that time though: We had orange juice and cantaloupe pieces with that, because we do like vitamins ;-) I love those three people to death! Para siempre, okay?

Going beyond ...

Besides working my ass off these past four weeks (it's getting more interesting right now, as I can participate in meetings and get a good insight of the marketing department. Strategy and the creative process, which fascinates me), I've been spending a lot of time with my old diaries.

Yes, in my last meeting with my mentor (I love her!) we agreed that in order to make my next steps, I'd really have to know myself better. What's my lifestyle, what am I good at, what is my dream job, what do I imagine my life to be like, what do I enjoy doing, what sectors and industries could I imagine working in, working alone/with a team etc. etc. Basically things I should have sorted out thanks to AIESEC, and some I have, but it still isn't that clear yet. Mostly, she made it clear to me (this was and still is the hardest part for me) that it's only a waste of time to do things now that I'd only do to prove something to myself, or to others. For exemple, if I know that I don't want to make a career in the banking sector, then why even think of applying for an internship with a bank, after my studies? During your studies may be a different thing, but certainly not now! Or, if you know that you're fundamentally just not that great at and don't enjoy writing scientific papers, then heavens don't do a PHD. I've also had some interesting and long discussions with Aïda about this...

So, why have I been reading very old and old journal entries? As I have changed a lot during my studies, I wanted to see what still is "ME", the real Carissa. Are there things that just haven't changed at all since I was a teenager and that are fundamentally the Carissa that I really am? Which are the things that I only think have changed, but that actually haven't? What are my values? What are the things I don't compromise on? You see, all very important matters. At times it was gruesome, painful to read my old journal entries (I mean, I have been writing them since I was sixteen, haha) but it's fun to see your own development, and to see yourself from outside view. Because yes, I can, after all those years, read my diaries as if I was someone else, and be objective about it. And gosh does it feel good to say "Ah, thank God I am not like that anymore, that was just my troubled teenager-self", or "Carissa, you're a shining star but you just didn't know!" hahaha.

It's funny how the past four weeks changed me already. I'm feeling so much better about myself, strange that I needed a job and appraisal to do the trick. I've been doing tons of thinking and analyzing myself, and thinking of my future, envisioning it. Mostly it felt good, but there were still some moments every now and then when I was in doubt. Am still loving my life though, because re-reading all those old journal entries, I can witness and observe my personal development. I wouldn't have changed if I hadn't taken risks in life, if I hadn't done it my own way, if I hadn't had those crushes on assholes, if I hadn't been in those past relationships, hadn't had those friendships, hadn't travelled on my own. You win some, you lose some. What's important are the lessons learned. You cannot learn how to walk, run and jump if you don't get off your ass because you're too afraid of falling and making a fool of yourself. You can't overprotect yourself all the time.

At twenty-six, still not having my first real permanent job-contract (I just found out that I can only work until mid-September in this current position. My first reaction was "Oh, man, bummer". But then told myself "Carissa, don't be such an idiot, it was a great experience"), I might not yet feel 100% like the woman I want to be professionally (actually, I have a long way to go), but I sure know I am the woman that I want to be in my relationships with other people and have a certain life-experience for my age that I can be proud of. "On ne peut pas brûler des étapes", or how was that again? I am more critical and not that easy to impress anymore. As I usually say, if you move really fast on one level you usually are way behind on another level. You've gotta be aware of that.

I am also learning to be less angry and to be more forgiving. I think I will never forget what India.Arie said at her concert in Montreux on 8 July (this is the sappy, non-cynical Carissa speaking for a change):

"I had the chance to meet Nelson Mandela and speaking with him has been a life-changing experience. I then told myself 'If the man can forgive the person who emprisoned him for three decades, hell, then I'd better be able to forgive the man who broke my heart...' ".


'nuff said.

Remembering May and June

Dinner with our AIESEC intern from the Netherlands (on the left). Hilarious conversations...

Brunch with Sarah and Julia...

BBQ at Ravaka's (here inside her house, once it began to rain)...

Birthday party Julia and Joan (J & J 50 years)

The beautiful jet d'eau

Evening in Geneva, by the lake...shortly afterwards, we saw two rats running around there, eow

Tapas dinner (I didn't eat though...)

Ah, my girls...

Goodbye Sarah ...

Before I got the job ... or, "the glass is more than half empty" approach

AIESEC MC Transition BBQ/Party

Am again "stealing" photos. Hope Julia, Sarah, Barbara etc. don't mind!! Thanks :-)

Remembering my 26th in Egypt

Still in total thesis panic mode. Here a little something nice to remember, my 26th birthday celebration in Cairo, Egypt. I wish I had more photos, but this will do for the time being (yoohoo, Sveta, Rajith, any more pics? :-))

Photos from Natasha (thanks girl! Hope you don't mind me posting them here)

Hehe

Alex seems to be missing crossing streets in Cairo too ;-)

Still

Still

As in at this or that time, or maybe even as in stationary (in case of gridlock). Not as in free from sound or noise. Not as in tranquil.

Got an email from Sveta yesterday, fellow IPM 2007 CC teamster aka my ER team buddy. She reminded me of this (the video is strangely hilarious). I totally miss crossing the street in that. I REALLY do. Despite the apparent chaos or absence of rules, it actually seems to work in my opinion (some European cities are rethinking the concept of having traffic signs, just for your information. They call it controlled chaos. I love the concept. If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know why). But: How can somebody "miss traffic" ? Isn't that ridiculous? Well, probably as ridiculous as having traffic signs and traffic lights everywhere, for cars, bicycles, taxis and pedestrians - like in Geneva, that has a population of roughly 190,000 - even in small streets. And that's the most un-Swiss city of Switzerland. We Swiss-Germans call Geneva chaotic compared to the rest of the country, haha. That's probably why I like Geneva so much. You gotta love those special small traffic lights for bicycles though, they're really cute.
Like I explained in one of my posts while I was in Egypt, living in Cairo and being in traffic there somehow made me feel connected to the world, made me feel alive. Would I still enjoy it - and the pollution - after, say a year? Am I just a stupid "traffic tourist"? I don't know.

Still.

P.S. Can you believe that in Lucerne, I had to pass a bicycle test when I was ten or eleven years old in order to be allowed to ride my bicycle in the streets? They gave me two minus points for not properly getting off my bike when using the pedestrian crossing! Pfffffffff. But I guess in a country with so many different street signs, it's probably good to have studied them once, it could even come in handy for your driving exam. What is most confusing in Switzerland in the streets is not traffic if you ask me, but those street signs...